( Novel exerpt: Bi-Polar Cinderella sings this song to try to understand why her Demon Brothers Three would slay their father the Sawdust Man, and take away the Golden Orb he had given her.)
It's not that they tried to kill me,
it's that they tried to kill someone I love.
Murdering my memories
of the Sawdust Man.
Erasing him from my mind,
my heart
my soul.
How can one explain the Brother Demons Three?
How can one explain the sickness in their hearts?
How can you explain their hate so great?
How do I explain why they stole the magical orb?
How do you explain
bi-polar
Schizophrenic
sexual abuse
and
black souls?
How else can I explain?
She made the Sawdust Man get down on his hands and knees, turn around on his back take a broom and sweep the chimney.
The soot rained on him, the dirt and the dust and the grunge.
It reminded him of his father
... a coal miner.
It brought him pain everytime he swept the chimney.
The tears from his eyes would drip down his face like cheap mascara
But she made him do it.
She liked to watch his pain.
Witch Bitch was evil.
The Instigator is a character I created so that I could deal with the abuse I suffered at the hands of my brother Michael J Holosko. I believe that he used my bi polar illness to not only manipulate me as a child but also as an adult to alienate me from my father and my mother.
Over many years (as I understand) he worked to demoralized, degrade and exploit my illness which ultimately left me homeless and very ill.
He is 20 years my senior.
Here I was a Bi--Polar sick little girl living on the steets of New York City. How could I tell the world that a University Professor who specialized in mental illnesses like my own, that I experienced him as a sadisdic, sexual and psychological predator.
Who would belive me if I told?
And so like many abuse victims that came before me I did not tell I perceived that I was his prey. I was afraid.
I didn't stand a chance! It was better that I die.
The miracle is that I lived and got better and can now tell my story. Its funny how these things come back to haunt.
And I would have kept his secret if he had not stolen my Majical Orb given to me by my father, a porceline doll, a grandfather clock and a picture of my Dad.
But he just wouldn't stop....He just wouldn't let it go.
For so many years I had become such a sexual sport for him that I believe he could not help himself. Sexual and psychological abuse is an addiction. I became his obsession....
This is a poem Exerpt from my book. "Bi- Polar Cinderella":
The character of the Instigator is one of Bi-polar Cinderella's wicked step brothers. He is probably the most psychotic and sadistic of the group of three.
He is a Demon with a long history of murderous deeds. He is constantly honing and refining his technique which is what makes him feel powerful and invincible. He is both of those things.
When finishes his crime he is always very careful to destroy the evidence. He kills, not just physically , but psychologically as well. He likes to watch. He is a voyeur. Nothing makes him happier then watching his victim decend into the world of madness that he helped create. The Instigator is a powerful Demon. Cinderella is a flea next to him.
He uses Bi-polar Cinderella's illness and wages a full fledged assault against her. He sends minor demons and angry wasps to pick at her slowly. He watches her collapse.
The story goes that The Instigator began training Cinderella when she was just 5 or 6 years old. He began his course curricular by beating her down sexually.
This poem, a bit graphic, is about Cinderellas sexual encouters with her much older (15 years older) wicked step brother the Instigator.
-----------------------------
Wake up Cinderella!
Wake up!
The Instigator is here
You are seven he is twenty.
With a hooked nose
And a barrel chest
A teacher to be
A teacher to teach Cinderella how to be a good little sex slave
It is really time to get up Cinderella
sleeping in your bed
Mommy will send the Instigator in to wake you.
Your own personal alarm clock.
And he will do what he has been doing for years.
He will run up the stairs at The Witch Bitches promoting
He will run up wearing
green surgical pants Commando.
Dick free.
He will jump on the bed and roll and roll on top of Cinderella.
He will role her awake.
He will roll and roll.
He will put his hands down his pants
He will roll and jerk
Jerk and roll
Until he wipes her face with a handful of skin cream he made especially for her.
He will rub it into her face
and yell, "Belly Button Stink!"
Then he will get up and leave Cinderella on the bed.
When Cinderella goes to school that day the sores on her face will flare up by the skin cream the Instigator had so generously given her.
--------------
P.S.
Cinderella had face sores for 10 years because the Instigator woke her at least once a day on weekdays sometimes twice on weekends.
The first lesson that the Instigator taught Cinderella was that it was normal for little girls to go to school with lips full of cold sores and puss.
Even at the ealy age of 20 the Instigator was proving to be a powerful Demon...and a natural teacher.
The Sawdust Man, Cinderella's father has come back from the dead to avenge her against, his evil vampire sons.
In this poem Cinderella reaches out to him.
----------------
Daddy do you see me?
Daddy if you see me can
you see your sons?
Can you feel their hatred and their fear and their murdeous hearts?
See me daddy through their sickness and see me destroyed in pain
Daddy do you hear me?
