Happy Valentines Papa

Every Valentines every year, 

A heart for me a heart for her.

A heart for his Mistress

who loved him so

A heart from a man that beat for love,

on Valentines day

Tom Collins

The Sawdust Man loved the Tom Collins.

He ordered it once at the Olive Garden.

He gave me a sip when Witch Bitch wasn't looking.

It was a magic potion that made us stronger.

But she only let him have one,
she knew of the power it held.

So the Sawdust man ordered  a Rum and Coke.

He gave me a sip when Witch Bitch wasn't looking,

it was a magic potion and we built a wall of protection.

But she only let him have one she knew of the power it held

Then my father ordered a Labatt Blue  and shared it with me when she wasn't looking.

But she only let him have one she knew of the power it held.

and we built a wall of love.

And even though she was a very powerful Demon,

the potion made of
Unlimited Soup and Salad
One Tom Collins
a  Rum and Coke 
and a Labatte beer
bought us a dinners worth of

Strenth
Protection
And Love

The last thing the Sawdust Man Saw

The last thing the Sawdust Man
Saw before he died
Was a Lifeguard

My father's Heart Burst

The autopsy man said,

"his heart emploded. Never seen anything so violent. A gun shot to the heart...maybe?"

That's  a  broken heart. My father's heart.

That's  the breaking of a man.

His spirit and soul.

A kind man my Sawdust  Man.

Thump thump boom!

My Teacher

The hours, he spent, the days the years

 as I sat by his side,

learning.

To play piano

To play violin

To write music

To use a tape recorder

To use a label maker.

To learn the owl, and the lathe,

To learn to change a washer

I learned how

To paint a baseboard

To love Wild Wild  World of Animals, Sinbad the Sailor, Three's Company, and .

Killier Kowalsky

I learned how

'To ride a bike

To put a sting around a bee

To move a glass across the kitchen table 

And yes I learned

With kindness

and patience

and love

I learned.

Hollywood Animal Trainer Viciously Whips Young Tiger

My Dad would have hated this. Tigers were his favorite animal and before he died he made me promise to take some of the money he left me and get his name on a plaque on the Tiger cage of the Toronto Zoo.

But everything of my father's was taken from me.  (Mental illness can act in damaging and destructive ways).


My father and everything he was an a man  and a father was erased from my life, That's why I write this blog. It's sick and it's tragic especially for  a man who did so much to be remembered, who took thousands  of pictures, of his life, documented the moments  and carefully and meticulously  made  a collection of slides,  He was a man who wrote poems and music and made tapes of us interviewing one another.


 If my father can hear me now I'd say Dad, "please hold on I am getting that plaque  for you."!

Hollywood Animal Trainer Viciously Whips Young Tiger